Practicing the violin is serious business. How have I been so shortsighted all through college?
I realized with some horror that I cannot play scales in tune. Sure, they are "in tune" but they aren't perfect. And if a musician can't play scales perfectly, there isn't much hope for them.
My biggest regret in college is that I didn't pay attention to what Mrs. Heard told me. I never corrected the mistakes she pointed out. And she told me over and over again.
Practicing for me was all about learning the notes and shaping the music. I was gifted with solid, basic technique but I never worked on it, except for figuring out how to relieve tension.
Leopold Auer said, "Young students - in spite of all the advice lavished upon them - do not generally realize the importance which attaches to the manner in which they work, and the influence their mode of practicing is bound to have upon their future... Yet the main essential is for him to cultivate the habit of close self-observation, and above all to accustom himself to direct and control his efforts. For it is this mental labour which is the true source of all progress."
This is a status from one of my high school teachers (Quinn is her son):
"Every once in a while I ask Quinn about music lessons. Tonight he told me that he already knew how to play the violin because he thought about it real hard in his noggan and figured out how to play the violin. Who knew it was so easy?"
I laughed of course, but really, practicing has a lot more to do with your brain than your fingers.
I am excited about this year, with my potential for growth. I will be asking Professor Teal and Mrs. Heard lots of questions that I should have been asking over the last four years. Better late than never.
Sevcik will be my main etude guide, with liberal amounts of Kreutzer and others. I should buy another copy of Galamian's book, Principles of Violin Playing and Teaching, and I plan to read Auer's Violin Playing As I Teach It as well as The Inner Game of Tennis, which I will borrow from Lindsey.
My practice schedule is as follows:
4 hours minimum every day except Sundays (1 hour).
My big goal, hour wise, is to put in 400 hours by December 1.
I am currently 32.5 hours behind, but will start working on the deficit today.
I also plan to practice rhythms and ear training / sight singing a little bit every day.
After I study all the German I need to and read all that I want, MAYBE I'll do some music history studying. Get to know Bach, Beethoven, Brahms, and Schubert at the very least.
Being a good, well-educated musician is a lot of work.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
Returning to Wien
At the encouragement of my better half, Amelia, I e-mailed Barbara (our teacher from Vienna) about the possibility of me returning for my Master's degree at the Conservatory with her. She sent me a charming little reply saying that I was always welcome back, and that though I have a lot of work to do, that I could be a very good violinist. I actually wasn't sure how she'd feel about taking me as a full time student, because I didn't really apply myself to improving at the violin when I was studying abroad with IES. I went to see the country and be immersed in the culture of the city, and I didn't want to spend all my time there in a practice room.
I discussed going to school in Vienna with my mom and she said to make a list of the pros and cons in order to help organize my thoughts.
So here it is.
Pros:
Beautiful city
World class concerts and opera (for cheap!)
Excellent museums and parks
Barbara will push me to excel
School is much less expensive than US schools
Public transportation
Will become proficient in German
Donner kebabs and Sturm (among other tasty Viennese food)
Fresh food from markets (will learn to cook)
Coffee house culture
Christkindlmärkte
Health care ?
Already like home
Cons:
Hard to visit home / have family visit
Cannot practice after 10 pm
"Diplom" not recognized in all US schools
No reunions with friends / hard to skype with friends due to the time difference
Lots of distractions
Sometimes hard to understand exactly what Barbara wants
No Mexican food
Hard transition home to find a job and house
Xenophobia (The Viennese are not super accepting, although I never had any problems during my semester there)
Language barrier
- Hard to make friends until I know German
- Classes in German
- Hard to form chamber groups
- Hard to find a job
- No dating
Taxes ?
I talked to Ben Detrick about getting a Master's there, and he basically said we would have to get another Bachelor's degree first. If we go, both Amelia and I want to get a degree, so we need to ask more about the application process to get a Diplom, which is sometimes considered equivalent to a Master's degree in the States, depending on which school you ask. Mom also wants me to look into PhD programs. I wasn't sure about a PhD but if I were to get one, it should be when I'm young.
I think it's definitely possible to make getting a Diplom there work, and the better our German is, the easier everything will be. Apartments are comparable to living in a major US city.
So before I commit to going, I have to prove two things to myself:
That I can be serious about practicing consistently.
That I can become fluent in German.
There are a lot more obstacles going back to Vienna than if I went to graduate school in the States. My biggest concern is that we'd have to be away from our family and friends for so long.
But this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, right? I mean, it's been ranked the city with the best quality of living in the world for the past 2 years. I know I love it there and it's already like home. I could even see myself staying there after school if I could find a job. I'm so glad I have this year to practice and think.
I discussed going to school in Vienna with my mom and she said to make a list of the pros and cons in order to help organize my thoughts.
So here it is.
Pros:
Beautiful city
World class concerts and opera (for cheap!)
Excellent museums and parks
Barbara will push me to excel
School is much less expensive than US schools
Public transportation
Will become proficient in German
Donner kebabs and Sturm (among other tasty Viennese food)
Fresh food from markets (will learn to cook)
Coffee house culture
Christkindlmärkte
Health care ?
Already like home
Cons:
Hard to visit home / have family visit
Cannot practice after 10 pm
"Diplom" not recognized in all US schools
No reunions with friends / hard to skype with friends due to the time difference
Lots of distractions
Sometimes hard to understand exactly what Barbara wants
No Mexican food
Hard transition home to find a job and house
Xenophobia (The Viennese are not super accepting, although I never had any problems during my semester there)
Language barrier
- Hard to make friends until I know German
- Classes in German
- Hard to form chamber groups
- Hard to find a job
- No dating
Taxes ?
I talked to Ben Detrick about getting a Master's there, and he basically said we would have to get another Bachelor's degree first. If we go, both Amelia and I want to get a degree, so we need to ask more about the application process to get a Diplom, which is sometimes considered equivalent to a Master's degree in the States, depending on which school you ask. Mom also wants me to look into PhD programs. I wasn't sure about a PhD but if I were to get one, it should be when I'm young.
I think it's definitely possible to make getting a Diplom there work, and the better our German is, the easier everything will be. Apartments are comparable to living in a major US city.
So before I commit to going, I have to prove two things to myself:
That I can be serious about practicing consistently.
That I can become fluent in German.
There are a lot more obstacles going back to Vienna than if I went to graduate school in the States. My biggest concern is that we'd have to be away from our family and friends for so long.
But this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, right? I mean, it's been ranked the city with the best quality of living in the world for the past 2 years. I know I love it there and it's already like home. I could even see myself staying there after school if I could find a job. I'm so glad I have this year to practice and think.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Cleaning
Thoughts during my cleaning process.
Who still remembers paddle balls? The ones with the rubber ball attached by elastic.
Wow, my handwriting was hideous. Also, my writing is horrendous. I was a horrible writer in middle school. And high school.
I must have saved 150 pages in my old notebooks. I hated wasting reams of paper but my OCD demanded that I allot a maximum of 3 subjects per 5 subject notebook. I hate ripping out paper from spiral bound notebooks.
Why did I think I would be glad that I saved all of my notes from middle school?
Why do I have TWO Symphoniums? That seems a bit excessive.
I'm really glad I have this lamp with no bulbs in it.
Going through my old journals makes me realize that I am the most boring writer in the world. I'll have to highlight the few good entries of my life just in case anyone wants to read some of my thoughts.
Wow, I actually used a calendar? Like, I filled in important events and times so that I could remember them later? This must be the first and only time, in 2006.
Why did I collect stickers? I didn't even create new pages by mixing different stickers together. I just reorganized them. Sometimes not.
There's my Cat's Cradle!
When was I going to learn Pinocle and who did I expect would play with me?
Did I really think I would want to read The Flyer in 20 years? I'm not going to waste my time reading the high school paper / flyer that I didn't read when I was in high school.
Aw, senior homecoming and prom pictures!
Oh! San Francisco winterim stuff! Good times.
Of all my subjects the one I find the least useful (or rather, my notes on the subject are not useful to me) is math. Whenever I see a math notebook, I never think "maybe I could find something useful to save," but always, "oh good, I can recycle this stack of papers without further thought."
Well my room is much cleaner now but I have a good bit of reorganizing left to do. But everything is off the floor and I threw away 3 bags of garbage and recycled tons of paper. I hope to finish organizing soon. I'll post before and after pictures. But today my Aunt, Uncle, and cousins are here, and it's almost time to go meet them.
Who still remembers paddle balls? The ones with the rubber ball attached by elastic.
Wow, my handwriting was hideous. Also, my writing is horrendous. I was a horrible writer in middle school. And high school.
I must have saved 150 pages in my old notebooks. I hated wasting reams of paper but my OCD demanded that I allot a maximum of 3 subjects per 5 subject notebook. I hate ripping out paper from spiral bound notebooks.
Why did I think I would be glad that I saved all of my notes from middle school?
Why do I have TWO Symphoniums? That seems a bit excessive.
I'm really glad I have this lamp with no bulbs in it.
Going through my old journals makes me realize that I am the most boring writer in the world. I'll have to highlight the few good entries of my life just in case anyone wants to read some of my thoughts.
Wow, I actually used a calendar? Like, I filled in important events and times so that I could remember them later? This must be the first and only time, in 2006.
Why did I collect stickers? I didn't even create new pages by mixing different stickers together. I just reorganized them. Sometimes not.
There's my Cat's Cradle!
When was I going to learn Pinocle and who did I expect would play with me?
Did I really think I would want to read The Flyer in 20 years? I'm not going to waste my time reading the high school paper / flyer that I didn't read when I was in high school.
Aw, senior homecoming and prom pictures!
Oh! San Francisco winterim stuff! Good times.
Of all my subjects the one I find the least useful (or rather, my notes on the subject are not useful to me) is math. Whenever I see a math notebook, I never think "maybe I could find something useful to save," but always, "oh good, I can recycle this stack of papers without further thought."
Well my room is much cleaner now but I have a good bit of reorganizing left to do. But everything is off the floor and I threw away 3 bags of garbage and recycled tons of paper. I hope to finish organizing soon. I'll post before and after pictures. But today my Aunt, Uncle, and cousins are here, and it's almost time to go meet them.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Chicken Noodle Soup
I successfully made food today. Nothing extravagant, but I love homemade chicken noodle soup. I need to try cooking more; I really enjoy making food. Mom helped with basic directions. It was fairly simple to make, just chopping and dicing and adding stock at the right time.
Mom says LOTS of celery makes a good chicken noodle soup great.
chop / dice 6 carrots, two entire stalks of celery, 4 cloves of garlic, and half an onion.
more diced celery.
cut chicken into cubes.
put chicken into pot with olive oil. let cook on low heat until white.
add garlic and onion. After a few minutes add stock and water.
add celery. later, add carrots. let simmer for an hour or two.
before eating bring soup to a rolling boil and cook noodles for 7-10 minutes.
served with sourdough bread rolls.
Mom says LOTS of celery makes a good chicken noodle soup great.
chop / dice 6 carrots, two entire stalks of celery, 4 cloves of garlic, and half an onion.
more diced celery.
cut chicken into cubes.
put chicken into pot with olive oil. let cook on low heat until white.
add garlic and onion. After a few minutes add stock and water.
add celery. later, add carrots. let simmer for an hour or two.
before eating bring soup to a rolling boil and cook noodles for 7-10 minutes.
served with sourdough bread rolls.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Harry Potter
I ran into Borders quickly to find a book I thought my Dad might like. Since they are going out of business it's a good time to buy Christmas gifts. Seriously, you have to plan ahead; I hate Christmas shopping after Thanksgiving. Anyway, the book was over $30 so even with 30% off I didn't feel like buying it. I briefly wondered if Rosetta Stone was within my price range but they were still over $400. However, I did find a display of Harry Potter books. I couldn't find the Sorcerer's Stone last time.
I was supposed to run to Vanderbilt and back, but instead read Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. It was an easy read, and I enjoyed it. I was going to write a response blog, but my conversation over Facebook with Arreanna and Jessica is even better. One of my primary concerns was how we are to judge the quality of a book. I plan on continuing the series as time allows.
I was supposed to run to Vanderbilt and back, but instead read Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. It was an easy read, and I enjoyed it. I was going to write a response blog, but my conversation over Facebook with Arreanna and Jessica is even better. One of my primary concerns was how we are to judge the quality of a book. I plan on continuing the series as time allows.
- Jessica Pollack oooomg i cant even tell you how happy this makes me!!!!!! i love converting people to hp! pleeeaaasse tell me you are continuing the series, it's so much better than i can tell you!21 hours ago ·
- Austin Stevens I'll at least read to Prisoner of Azkaban. If I'm not hooked by then, I would question what all the hype is about. I was expecting to learn more about the characters / find more character development. I think the movies have done a wonderful job bringing the world to life. And really, as old as I am now I have more trouble relating to 11 year olds than I would had I started when the books came out. I was probably reading the Chronicles of Narnia about that time. And Little House on the Prairie. Having seen the movies and experienced the world of HP secondhand, perhaps, I was eager to delve into the book. Yet if I had never heard of it before now I probably wouldn't keep reading, because in comparison to say, LOTR, the writing is not as mature. Of course, its audience is younger than Tolkien's. It's similar to Narnia in that regard. I assume as Harry grows up it'll become more realistic and characters will continue to be fleshed out, and Rowling is a talented storyteller. A friend of mine said she would have her kids read the series but would only give them one book a year to recreate the anticipation. haha. I've considered waiting a while before reading the others.20 hours ago ·
- Arreanna Rostosky I would say, stop comparing LOTR and HP. You just can't do that. Otherwise, you'll be setting yourself up for failure, esp. since you're already such a huge LOTR fan. LOTR and HP are not and will not ever be the same thing. And it's okay to not like the books. I like the LOTR movies but I couldn't get through the first book to save my skin. Sometimes you just have an aesthetic taste that can't be met by a popular novel/concept/world/etc. Take Twilight, for example. Can't touch that thing with a 10 mile pole without cringing. But tons of people love it. And you may only relate to HP once you have kids. People change continually, and so do our tastes.20 hours ago ·
- Arreanna Rostosky p.s. in my humble opinion, you should at least get through the series, even if it's painful. If you're really struggling, at least finish book 4. That's the first time anything seriously "grown up" happens w/ the death and all that. I never liked Book 3, but tons of others did. Book 4 (when it was released) was my favorite until book 5. And then each subsequent book became my favorite. If I had to pick, though, probably a tie between the last 4 books and book 1. They're all so great.20 hours ago ·
- Austin Stevens the only reason I give LOTR as an example is that, in addition to rereading it now, it is a completely different style of writing. And I think it goes beyond aesthetic taste. There are some books you don't read until you get older, you just wouldn't understand them. And the quality of a book could also be measured in how much you gain with each subsequent reading. Let's take two of my favorite books: Frankenstein and The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Both are books you could read when you're a kid, but I doubt they would be enjoyable. If I were to reread either of them now I would see completely new facets of the story and appreciate each book even more, being a different, and hopefully wiser, person than when I read them last.
Personally, since you mention Twilight, I think that not only are there better books than others, but some people just have horrible taste in literature. I'm sure I would be sick before finishing the 2nd chapter of Twilight, and not only because I have different tastes, but I would be willing to bet a lot that it's poor writing.
But I do like Rowling's writing and I really like the story. Honestly I really want to learn more and 'get to know' characters like Luna and Ginny better. It's just very different from the classic literature I mainly read. That is the standard I have for books. I don't quite know how to put it. Maybe I think it's lacking in depth? Yet I'm hardly 1/7 the way through the whole tale. You might consider The Little Prince to be a children's story, and it's one that young kids would understand, yet I don't really consider it a children's story. It is so remarkably deep and poetic, I have read it many times with fresh eyes.
I don't know yet. I enjoyed the first book, but I withhold judgment until at least the third book. If I have time I hope to finish the series, not only at your request (and many friends') but because I think I do think it's worthwhile.20 hours ago · - Jessica Pollack this is actually a problem a lot of people have when starting the books at a later age. i mean, when you realize how mature and kind harry is for an 11 year old boy, he's pretty amazing already, but there is only so much an 11 year old boy can do to nt act like an 11 year old boy. just please trust in rowling and harry that everything gets way more intense (the characters, the plot, the situations, the philosophy, really everything). it starts out as a seemingly innocent kid's story, but it really is the epic saga people advertise--once you can see the whole thing. and while i think her writing is good, it's not like reading charles dickens. the poetry is in the story and the characters and the way the world works more than the actual words. i do want to say though, that the books change significantly between the third and fourth. the 4th is where it starts to really get a mature intense. but please keep us posted on your reading!!20 hours ago ·
- Austin Stevens ah, you've hit it square on the head. I have to remind myself that he's only 11. She writes like an 11 year old would understand and perceive the world. Yet it's not a coming of age tale that I'm used to. The protagonists of The Outsiders and The Catcher in the Rye are 14 and I guess in high school, I don't remember Holden's age. But the writing style itself is more mature. Catcher in the Rye was banned in many schools. I'm not saying one style is better or worse, I'm just noting the difference. An epic story I would highly recommend to anyone is the graphic novel Bone, by Jeff Smith. Not only is the artwork beautiful but the story is fantastic. It too begins in a cartoon style with jokes but becomes increasingly intense and philosophical. I just have to approach the HP series with that type of development in mind.19 hours ago ·
- Austin Stevens *that type of development meaning, gradual increase in maturity and intensity, rather than beginning with a high maturity level even though the characters have a lot of growing up to do throughout the story. And just to clarify, I say maturity level to mean the kind of themes used within the story and how they are dealt with. I assume that the writing style changes with the growing maturity of the intended audience, which is brilliant. I think a reader connects better with stories that are told with his or her own maturity level. As each person changes, their relationship with a book changes. I think that I wasn't mature enough to finish reading Les Miserables when I tried to, and perhaps that's why I couldn't get very far.19 hours ago ·
- Arreanna Rostosky I understand what you're saying and of course I've read better written books than HP, but in mentioning the Little Prince, I have to say that the poetics you pick up as an older person isn't necessarily what attracts a child to the book in the first place. Depending on their age, they might be attracted more to the story than the writing (which is quite lovely, I might add!). And I think the same thing is true with HP.
As a young kid, I wanted to go to that fantastical school and learn all of the great things that *weren't* math, history, and literature. I wanted to be sorted into a house, learn potions, broom flying, DaDA, etc. As I grew up with Harry and co., I was bonded to them in a way that someone reading it from an older age won't have. I was going through adolescence when *they* were. I was having boy problems like Hermione. I had someone to relate to. But that doesn't mean your relationship, starting at the ripe old age of 23 has to be any less special. As a young adult, I realized that, yes, the writing isn't always perfect, but you look beyond the writing to the story and the greater story it tells. Sure, it falls perfectly in line with a wizarding version of a mini-Holocaust with Voldemort as Hitler. But sometimes we have to be reminded of what terrible things people can do and that it is so often children fighting them. That way we can try to slow the cycle. Especially coming of age during 9/11, the fight with Voldemort became much more real for me b/c I was a young kid having to cope with suddenly realizing the world wasn't as safe as I was made to believe. It was terrifying but knowing that another kid, even a magical kid, could have agency made me feel a little safer.
While I'm talking too much about me, I wanted to say that that is my relationship. Yours will come from a more literature-critical point of view. And that's okay. But you will (hopefully) find your own way into the stories. And maybe share that with your nieces, nephews, children and grandchildren. (if not, they'll at least get LOTR! haha)
Also, I do have to disagree w/ you about aesthetic tastes. While it's true that aesthetic taste don't entirely dictate what one reads, eats, watches, listens to, etc., it might influence what one *thinks* of those things. I read Entertainment Weekly, Shakespeare, HP, and a whole heck of a lot more things in between. But each piece of writing fulfills different expectations and aesthetic desires. EW is just mindless reading w/ some amusing journalism. I expect nothing more or less. Shakespeare brings with it other baggage and expectations. So does HP.
And as far as multiple readings contributing to the value of the book, I don't think so. For some people, perhaps, but not all. I think for you, knowing you as a person, I would definitely say that is the case. But for me, not really. I can love a book on first read, think it's phenomenal and never have to pick it up again in order to satiated. Others I enjoy delving into again and again. It doesn't mean that one is better than the other. It could just be that I didn't think I got everything the first time around.
In a final plea to you, please, please, please read through book 4 and don't just stop at book 3. As others have said and I said above, there's a huge shift between book 3 and 4. If you aren't hooked by book 4, you can give up on it and I won't think less of you. Quit after book 3 and I might have to give you a stern talking to!!!! LOL (I kid. Kind of.) I'm super happy you're giving the books a shot...perhaps in solidarity I will do the same with LOTR at some point! :D18 hours ago · - Jessica Pollack i just want to say, i cant even tell you how happy i am that this converstaion took place. please read them so that we can skype discuss!18 hours ago ·
- Austin Stevens hahaha ok I'll read the next one asap. like before Borders closes. Then I have to wait for my friend to return from Africa to borrow his. Mom might kill me if I spend another 4 hours at Borders though; I do that a lot. I am organizing both my music library and our main library right now, and I never realized just how many books we have. I can't buy any more books or movies for a while, at least until I can find a place to put them. I was going to write a blog about reading HP but I think I'll just copy and paste this discussion, haha.18 hours ago ·
- Jessica Pollack also, as the person who wants to make their kids wait, were you talking about me? (or do i have a friend who also wants to do that?)17 hours ago ·
- Jessica Pollack i thought i hadnt told you that
arreanna, i think we should be friends :)17 hours ago · - Austin Stevens I was wondering when you'd find this and post, Emily! haha
Monday, August 1, 2011
Class and Money
What happened to class? I think that sometime during the 90s everyone decided that it was casual Friday all the time. I am conservative, but it seems like my opinions these days make me sound like a grumpy old man yelling at kids from his porch. I know it's hot during the summer, but unless it gets cold, everywhere you look all the girls are wearing clothes that would have been scandalous even 20 years ago. You can't tell me that the way people dress doesn't affect how they are perceived by others, particularly by the opposite sex. I'm just glad women don't like pictures of men in thongs. *shudders*
This post isn't really about modesty. I have opinions about how people dress, but I feel sort of uncomfortable saying too much. I believe that how you view yourself and how you present yourself to others is very important. If girls expect men, who are visual, to treat them well, maybe they should think twice about suggestive clothing. But the thing is, women don't view the clothes they wear as suggestive (for the most part). Society's view of women has drastically changed the way they see themselves, and now, today, showing a lot of skin is perfectly normal. Fine, I don't want to judge anyone. People can think for themselves. Maybe Dave Chappelle can smooth this over for me. But is anyone else sad that chivalry is dead? (this video has some language)
So what happened to class? Manners? Responsibility, values, morals, respect? I used to spend more time online at sites like fmylife.com, textsfromlastnight.com, peopleofwalmart.com, and others. They just make me question humanity.
The other thought I've had for a while is about money. How should I live my life? On the one hand, I was raised by upper class, wealthy white parents. Although my parents aren't rich, my grandparents are very well off. I went to a nice private high school and have graduated from Vanderbilt University with no debt. To be honest I'm not even sure how I got the scholarship money that I did. I don't know exactly how large my house is but it is full of nice things.
I have a fairly easy going approach when it comes to handling money. It is on the agenda to create a solid budget and stick to it. I don't really keep track of where my money is going at all times. I have a general idea, but I tend not to concern myself with my money. That's foolish and irresponsible. But I am glad that money doesn't have an obvious hold over me. I feel that I am fairly generous. In high school I remember one year that I bought Christmas presents for all of my friends. And to be honest, in the back of my mind I always hoped someone would get me something, and it bothered me when no one did. But that was never their fault, and of course I didn't give in order to get gifts in return. There is just one corner in the back of my mind that is very insecure and selfish, and all it wants is to be thought of as important. The most important.
I'm getting off track. My point was that I am used to a certain lifestyle. I try hard not to spend too much at Borders and Barnes and Noble. Yet I have many books I started in stores that I haven't touched since buying them. They sit on my bookshelf in my room or in the library. As I have matured, I will say that my taste in movies has become refined. I haven't bought a non-foreign film since Inception, I believe. However, the foreign movies I buy are so expensive.
My room is overflowing with things. And I know I don't need them. When I move out and get my own place, I don't want to have 40 boxes of things. This thought ties into my overall desire for a healthy, balanced life. I want to be free from the addiction of Facebook and other social networks. I have truly enjoyed living this summer, but I know I am not yet living life to the fullest. And part of seizing the day is getting rid of clutter; finding a simpler way to live. I wouldn't claim to be a Luddite but I have long been attracted to the philosophy of asceticism.
Part of me wants to take a box of books, my computer, and my violin and buy land in the country and live there. The other part wants to buy a big house in the suburbs and fill it with nice things. I think I want to move to Europe. I could rent a tiny apartment and read my books. I could walk everywhere, with public transportation. I could see beautiful old buildings and artwork and other things in museums. There would be a mix of old and new culture, but there is definitely a sense of propriety and class there that we have lost in the US. And I could go to world class concerts as often as I wished.
This post isn't really about modesty. I have opinions about how people dress, but I feel sort of uncomfortable saying too much. I believe that how you view yourself and how you present yourself to others is very important. If girls expect men, who are visual, to treat them well, maybe they should think twice about suggestive clothing. But the thing is, women don't view the clothes they wear as suggestive (for the most part). Society's view of women has drastically changed the way they see themselves, and now, today, showing a lot of skin is perfectly normal. Fine, I don't want to judge anyone. People can think for themselves. Maybe Dave Chappelle can smooth this over for me. But is anyone else sad that chivalry is dead? (this video has some language)
So what happened to class? Manners? Responsibility, values, morals, respect? I used to spend more time online at sites like fmylife.com, textsfromlastnight.com, peopleofwalmart.com, and others. They just make me question humanity.
The other thought I've had for a while is about money. How should I live my life? On the one hand, I was raised by upper class, wealthy white parents. Although my parents aren't rich, my grandparents are very well off. I went to a nice private high school and have graduated from Vanderbilt University with no debt. To be honest I'm not even sure how I got the scholarship money that I did. I don't know exactly how large my house is but it is full of nice things.
I have a fairly easy going approach when it comes to handling money. It is on the agenda to create a solid budget and stick to it. I don't really keep track of where my money is going at all times. I have a general idea, but I tend not to concern myself with my money. That's foolish and irresponsible. But I am glad that money doesn't have an obvious hold over me. I feel that I am fairly generous. In high school I remember one year that I bought Christmas presents for all of my friends. And to be honest, in the back of my mind I always hoped someone would get me something, and it bothered me when no one did. But that was never their fault, and of course I didn't give in order to get gifts in return. There is just one corner in the back of my mind that is very insecure and selfish, and all it wants is to be thought of as important. The most important.
I'm getting off track. My point was that I am used to a certain lifestyle. I try hard not to spend too much at Borders and Barnes and Noble. Yet I have many books I started in stores that I haven't touched since buying them. They sit on my bookshelf in my room or in the library. As I have matured, I will say that my taste in movies has become refined. I haven't bought a non-foreign film since Inception, I believe. However, the foreign movies I buy are so expensive.
My room is overflowing with things. And I know I don't need them. When I move out and get my own place, I don't want to have 40 boxes of things. This thought ties into my overall desire for a healthy, balanced life. I want to be free from the addiction of Facebook and other social networks. I have truly enjoyed living this summer, but I know I am not yet living life to the fullest. And part of seizing the day is getting rid of clutter; finding a simpler way to live. I wouldn't claim to be a Luddite but I have long been attracted to the philosophy of asceticism.
Part of me wants to take a box of books, my computer, and my violin and buy land in the country and live there. The other part wants to buy a big house in the suburbs and fill it with nice things. I think I want to move to Europe. I could rent a tiny apartment and read my books. I could walk everywhere, with public transportation. I could see beautiful old buildings and artwork and other things in museums. There would be a mix of old and new culture, but there is definitely a sense of propriety and class there that we have lost in the US. And I could go to world class concerts as often as I wished.
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