In other news I finally committed to enrolling at CU Boulder! My financial aid situation should be cleared up and I will hopefully get some help, but I just talked with Tutu about tuition and paid the enrollment fee. Time to start looking for housing and then a job. But first I must practice for Kyndal's wedding!
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Validation
In other news I finally committed to enrolling at CU Boulder! My financial aid situation should be cleared up and I will hopefully get some help, but I just talked with Tutu about tuition and paid the enrollment fee. Time to start looking for housing and then a job. But first I must practice for Kyndal's wedding!
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Paper Route 205
I got a job as a paper courier for the Tennessean (we also deliver the Wall Street Journal, USA Today, and New York Times, as well as some Business Journals which I don't usually carry). I came in on Monday (Sunday night) and signed some papers and was shown the basics of preparing for delivery (rolling papers, examining the route list) and then proceeded to get car sick when the old courier drove the route while I observed. This morning I drove and he helped me get the turns right and throw the right papers. It's a fun job but I am still starting and stopping a bit in order to read my route list. Once I get familiar with the route, it will go smoother. I enjoy the work, though it's messing up my sleep schedule a bit for work with Dad. I need to get another job, preferably in the evening so I can sleep during the day. But this job should cover my major expenses like health care until I leave for Boulder. I'd like to at least have enough money for a month or two of rent plus a couch, table, and bed.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Arreanna on Taste
Arreanna Rostosky It's the history and practice of EDM, so we're tracing the genealogy of all types with a little musical analysis sprinkled in. So far we've covered African drumming, waltz, rock, funk, soul, and disco (to name some).
The Joan Crawford stuff is to demonstrate melodrama, so I can then explain camp and the use of sincere melodrama. Also, because I'm sure none of them have seen Mildred Pierce and they should. haha
Friday at 12:58am · Like
Austin Stevens I've never seen it and it looks AMAZING from that one scene. what do you mean by camp, exactly? I don't usually associate camp with drama.
so, why is it specifically Electronic? that genealogy seems just about dance music in general (all of which are the roots of electronic dance music, of course). when I stop to think about it, I find it difficult to define and explain different genres of music: funk, soul, disco for example. I know what they are, and could think of some examples, but I don't think I could explain in words specifically enough the differences between those three genres. that sounds like an awesome class, though!
Friday at 1:05am · Like
Arreanna Rostosky Camp deals with exaggeration, typically expressed in a way that can be read as mocking an object when it is really deeply affectionate of it. I didn't say it was for drama, but rather melodrama. The scene from Mildred Pierce demonstrates a heightened sense of drama that is SO over the top that it is almost laughable. Aside from the lighting, cinematography, and acting, the music also contributes to this intensely dramatic scene. One way to read the scene is that it is purely a dramatic highpoint in the plot. A way of reading it through camp is that the acting performance and the music are both mocking drama from that era while also paying sincere homage to it. It's the tension between mockery and sincerity that is at play with camp.
You have to give our class time to get to EDM! We just finished up the third week...our prof. is setting up the genealogy of all the types of dance music and EDM so that way the students can better understand where certain stylistic properties come from in EDM. (You could argue that one wouldn't have as effective a history of Wagnerian opera class that started only with Wagner - otherwise we wouldn't understand what he was reacting against stylistically!) We had a ppt slide that shows a family tree of musical styles. Essentially it's broken down to where gospel and rock are progenitors of soul. Soul was appropriated for disco. Disco is the progenitor of house, which then branches off into acid house and techno, which are then similarly branched off into trance, UK rave, and hardcore. We officially get to EDM next week.
And trust me, funk, soul, and disco are very, very different. Some of the lines are blurred depending on the artists, but for the most part, there's a different ideology behind a lot of it, just as much as there is a difference in musical style.
Friday at 1:28am · Like
Austin Stevens OH! fascinating! it's almost an homage to a certain established aesthetic ("in the style of") where the style is exaggerated but while it might be humorous it's not a spoof. the example of Hairspray makes sense. (I'm still just a tad bit ashamed at how much I rely on Wikipedia to explain things to me)
and out of curiosity, where would soap operas fall? they seem to be over the top just for the sake of being over the top.
Friday at 1:50am · Like
Arreanna Rostosky I'd say most soaps (at least when they started off) have elements of camp in them. Melodrama is often associated with camp, and soaps are in no short supply of melodrama! But I'm no expert in camp...I'm still figuring these things out for myself.
Friday at 2:25am · Like
Austin Stevens I wish I had more of a head for this kind of analysis. I pay attention and I understand, but I never remember. I need to read more articles and other secondary sources. I want to pick something and learn all I can about it, and really make it my own. it's always bothered me, though, how I can sit through a performance, engaged, and not have any intellectual reaction to what I just heard. I'm so in the moment that by the end of a piece, I couldn't hum the opening theme.
Friday at 2:37am · Like
Arreanna Rostosky Being able to remember the opening theme isn't indicative of being more engaged with a piece than an experience of being in the moment with a piece. Honestly, the energy I'll try to put toward remembering a theme distracts me from what I'm listening to at the moment. And intellectual responses are not the "best" kind of reactions to have, nor is an emotional response. They're just responses, which is one of the points of art, imo. I honestly hate taking apart performances intellectually right after I see them. I prefer to enjoy them for what they are and then pick it apart at a later time. Otherwise, I'd have no joy in any type of music. But that's just me.
Friday at 2:57am · Like
Austin Stevens I know that trying to analyze a work during the performance will distract me and lessen my enjoyment. It is just frustrating talking to people like Chris and Dean who notice every nuance.
Friday at 5:43pm via mobile · Like
Arreanna Rostosky That's because they're cyborgs. They're not real people. haha
Friday at 5:48pm · Unlike · 1
Austin Stevens A great thing about music is that you don't need a degree or any special knowledge in order to love it. But would you say that if one has good taste, that implies the ability to judge a performance as having merit or not? I feel like an educated listener needs to have certain standards, but when I listen to music the only thing I care about is whether the piece speaks to me.
Friday at 8:04pm via mobile · Like
Arreanna Rostosky But what is "good taste"? Is it based off of the canon? Who defines it? Once it is defined, I don't think it can be used to judge all performances: taste in opera will not be the same as taste in pop music, etc.
(I have a contentious relationship with ideas of "taste," as I study a genre that still irks some music scholars. And I also study musicals that even musicals scholars dislike! So my tastes are very broad. Rap is about the only thing I'll usually stop listening to.)
Also, what is the merit it is supposed to have? That it brings entertainment? That it brings one amusement? That it makes one think?
I don't think an educated listener has to have specific standards other than desiring a piece to speak to them in some way. Is that a popular conception of taste? Probably not. But I think feeling that one has to have certain aesthetics in order to judge a performance is a flawed compulsion, as the aesthetics one decides upon will automatically skew one's view of a piece. A Mozart opera lover will often dislike Wagner, a Wagner opera lover will often dislike Mozart (there are the few who love both! haha). Yet people agree that both composers have merit. So then what is the guide telling us the two composers are comparable in skill, despite being so drastically different in execution? It is taste to an extent, taste that has been codified. But there are plenty of scholars I know who may disregard Mozart and yet groove on Cage. I feel that the question you pose is much more complicated than just having "good taste."
Friday at 9:47pm · Like
Austin Stevens Well of course at the end of the day it's subjective. But what I mean by "good taste" is an appreciation of excellence. Regardless of whether I'm a Mozart lover or a Wagnerian, in any given performance there are certain expectations. Simple things like correct notes to choices of interpretation. It may be moving, but a Mozart opera performed like Wagner would probably be confusing. I don't think that it's strange to expect Mozart to sound like Mozart. Sure, coming into a performance with certain aesthetics changes one experiences the music, but how could we eliminate the bias?
Friday at 10:40pm via mobile · Like
Austin Stevens *how one experiences.
Friday at 10:41pm via mobile · Like
Arreanna Rostosky What is that excellence we should appreciate? It's still going to be different for different composers and genres, so I'm assuming you're seeking a taste that can acknowledge the different aesthetics of each genre and subgenre, which I would say is impossible to have. Correct notes won't apply to everything (John Cage, for one). And if choices of interpretation don't match your own aesthetic, you'll automatically view the performance as lesser, even though it may be an equally valid form of interpretation (early music performances comes to mind). There will always be a bias, sure. I'm not sure how it can be eliminated, except to have people learn to be aware that there is a bias and to not issue judgment based off of gut reaction at all times. I will often say that I may not like a type of music, but I can appreciate it. I don't think that's a question of good taste, merely being aware of one's musical preferences while being aware other equally valid preferences exist.
But I can't accept "good taste" to be an appreciation of excellence. There's a value judgment inherent in the term "good taste" (that there's such a thing as having bad taste and good taste) that makes me queasy. You're more than welcome to purse taste as a form of appreciation of excellence, but I tend to run away from defining things as such.
Why? Because the duality of "good" and "bad" taste brings in a moral component that rubs me the wrong way. Sure, there are things in obvious bad taste, such as calling for a new holocaust, supporting racism, practicing torture, etc. But in music, the baggage of calling taste good or bad is frustrating. It's what will shut people down in conversations about music. Too often there is a moral judgment of someone for liking or not liking a piece of music (like when I say I don't like Mahler, most people I talk to gasp in horror and then tell me I'll appreciate it when I'm older; I get a similar reaction of horror when I say I enjoy megamusicals like Phantom, something I wrote about for my ethics seminar). That automatic judgment is tiresome.
Am I calling for no debate about music? Obviously not. But this conversation is a reminiscent of the question of "what is literature?" that we had over the summer. My thoughts about that are similar to that about music and "tastes," if we must use such a word. There's a place for it all, imo. And a place for all kinds of appreciations, whatever it be about: excellence, entertainment, white noise, or whatever else.
Friday at 11:24pm · Like
Austin Stevens ideally, yes, good taste would acknowledge the different aesthetics of each genre. I'd agree that that is impossible, but it's not any less useful than any other concept of perfection. why would I automatically think that performances with unexpected aesthetics would be less worthy than what I was expecting? I think different but equal is totally possible, provided you keep an open mind.
but isn't there such a thing as having good or bad taste? granted, art isn't judged on a simple sliding scale from
Friday at 11:42pm · Like
Austin Stevens 'bad' to 'good' (pressed enter accidentally...)
Friday at 11:42pm · Like
Arreanna Rostosky The short answer to your question is: no. But that's how I choose to conceptualize it because of my experiences with being given a hard time for liking certain types of music. For other people, sure, good and bad taste exists.
Friday at 11:45pm · Like
Austin Stevens I agree that it's easy to become judgmental of others' taste when we think that there exists both good and bad taste. I don't think that judging a person for liking a certain type of music is right. Classical music elitists and snobs helped drive away younger generations of listeners. I do believe in open mindedness. before I came to Vandy, I thought Rap music was degenerate. but I was approaching it from a background in Western art music. music theory as we know it has little to do with Rap, and from that perspective it is indeed quite simplistic. It's simply not a harmonically progressive musical genre. and that's okay. the knowledge of this different set of aesthetics changed my approach to listening to rap, and I have a different (though I still don't listen to rap) view of it as a genre. each genre comes from a different background and has different expectations, and (informed) listeners come to each performance accepting the baggage that music has. so, I firmly do believe that there is such a thing as good music and bad music. It's more accurate to say that I believe there is good rap and bad rap, good classical music and bad classical music, etc. They each have their own standards. So wouldn't a person who likes bad music (according to the context of the particular genres) have bad taste?
Friday at 11:57pm · Like
Austin Stevens however, who's to ultimately judge what is good music and what's not? ultimately, you do. so it's subjective. but superficially there is a general consensus agreed upon by the majority of informed patrons that 'dictates' whether or not something is good or bad.
Yesterday at 12:00am · Like
Austin Stevens and yes, this is essentially the same discussion we had about literature. ; )
Yesterday at 12:01am · Like
Austin Stevens ok, FINE, there's not really any such thing as good or bad taste. that's just in comparison with a somewhat arbitrary cultural 'norm.' but I will still judge people who like Justin Bieber over, say, Frank Sinatra.
Yesterday at 12:03am · Like
Arreanna Rostosky Nice argument with yourself. haha ; )
The fact that you're judging people is imposing your own aesthetic on them, which is still a function of believing your aesthetic view is superior to theirs. Just as with the lit debate, what you view as fulfilling will not be what is fulfilling to someone else. And since it's subjective, why do you have to bring others into it? You don't have to and yet you feel a compulsion to do so. Some might argue (myself included) that in issuing judgment on others, it affirms one's own "good" taste in the hopes that it marks one as more cultured, a goal that I don't understand. I feel that one shouldn't seek out art or do things just to be "cultured"; seek out art that makes one feel good, inspired, moved. Not just "cultured."
Yesterday at 12:19am · Like
Austin Stevens why do I feel the need to bring others into it? because I enjoy discussion, and comparisons with my peers can also be enlightening, not just belittling one-up-manship. yes, of course some put others down in order to feel better about themselves. the real question here is whether or not Good (and by implication, Bad) exists.
the idea that everyone has their own scale (bias) is relativistic. and perhaps it's an unfair comparison, but I feel that the idea of universal truth is important. in terms of religion, this is when faith matters. in terms of art, the inability to 'prove' the existence of a true (objective) value isn't of much consequence. but what irks me isn't that other people have different likes and dislikes, but it's that I begin to think that each individual is trapped in his own little world; I dislike solipsism.
Yesterday at 12:34am · Like
Arreanna Rostosky I certainly understand your desire for discussion and mutual enlightenment!
I see what you're saying about universals and I respect your position. Morals and religion are definitely a different issue in terms of universals. I'm not as convinced that just because people have chosen to have certain likes and dislikes, it is indicative of them not being aware of others. That will be a byproduct in some cases, sure, but not always. They be aware of what is around them and decide it is not of value or use to them
In the end, I'm not going to condemn someone for not sharing the same likes as me or the same experience of faith (to tie it into religion). With religion, while I hold that there are certain truths, I also feel there are many ways to access God, through other religions and even through other pathways. Those ways may have different ways of expressing those truths, but it all evens out in the end. So I suppose I'm okay with relativism. In faith, in taste, and in life. (there are some ethical standards I'll hold, such as don't kill or eat people, torture isn't ethical, etc., but that's where a universal truth and an ethical standard are somewhat different things.)
You should really look into Kant and other philosophers dealing with universals, if that line of thought intrigues you.
Yesterday at 1:03am · Like
Austin Stevens I like what I know of Kant, but it is seriously the hardest thing to read. Worse than Adorno.
The Joan Crawford stuff is to demonstrate melodrama, so I can then explain camp and the use of sincere melodrama. Also, because I'm sure none of them have seen Mildred Pierce and they should. haha
Friday at 12:58am · Like
Austin Stevens I've never seen it and it looks AMAZING from that one scene. what do you mean by camp, exactly? I don't usually associate camp with drama.
so, why is it specifically Electronic? that genealogy seems just about dance music in general (all of which are the roots of electronic dance music, of course). when I stop to think about it, I find it difficult to define and explain different genres of music: funk, soul, disco for example. I know what they are, and could think of some examples, but I don't think I could explain in words specifically enough the differences between those three genres. that sounds like an awesome class, though!
Friday at 1:05am · Like
Arreanna Rostosky Camp deals with exaggeration, typically expressed in a way that can be read as mocking an object when it is really deeply affectionate of it. I didn't say it was for drama, but rather melodrama. The scene from Mildred Pierce demonstrates a heightened sense of drama that is SO over the top that it is almost laughable. Aside from the lighting, cinematography, and acting, the music also contributes to this intensely dramatic scene. One way to read the scene is that it is purely a dramatic highpoint in the plot. A way of reading it through camp is that the acting performance and the music are both mocking drama from that era while also paying sincere homage to it. It's the tension between mockery and sincerity that is at play with camp.
You have to give our class time to get to EDM! We just finished up the third week...our prof. is setting up the genealogy of all the types of dance music and EDM so that way the students can better understand where certain stylistic properties come from in EDM. (You could argue that one wouldn't have as effective a history of Wagnerian opera class that started only with Wagner - otherwise we wouldn't understand what he was reacting against stylistically!) We had a ppt slide that shows a family tree of musical styles. Essentially it's broken down to where gospel and rock are progenitors of soul. Soul was appropriated for disco. Disco is the progenitor of house, which then branches off into acid house and techno, which are then similarly branched off into trance, UK rave, and hardcore. We officially get to EDM next week.
And trust me, funk, soul, and disco are very, very different. Some of the lines are blurred depending on the artists, but for the most part, there's a different ideology behind a lot of it, just as much as there is a difference in musical style.
Friday at 1:28am · Like
Austin Stevens OH! fascinating! it's almost an homage to a certain established aesthetic ("in the style of") where the style is exaggerated but while it might be humorous it's not a spoof. the example of Hairspray makes sense. (I'm still just a tad bit ashamed at how much I rely on Wikipedia to explain things to me)
and out of curiosity, where would soap operas fall? they seem to be over the top just for the sake of being over the top.
Friday at 1:50am · Like
Arreanna Rostosky I'd say most soaps (at least when they started off) have elements of camp in them. Melodrama is often associated with camp, and soaps are in no short supply of melodrama! But I'm no expert in camp...I'm still figuring these things out for myself.
Friday at 2:25am · Like
Austin Stevens I wish I had more of a head for this kind of analysis. I pay attention and I understand, but I never remember. I need to read more articles and other secondary sources. I want to pick something and learn all I can about it, and really make it my own. it's always bothered me, though, how I can sit through a performance, engaged, and not have any intellectual reaction to what I just heard. I'm so in the moment that by the end of a piece, I couldn't hum the opening theme.
Friday at 2:37am · Like
Arreanna Rostosky Being able to remember the opening theme isn't indicative of being more engaged with a piece than an experience of being in the moment with a piece. Honestly, the energy I'll try to put toward remembering a theme distracts me from what I'm listening to at the moment. And intellectual responses are not the "best" kind of reactions to have, nor is an emotional response. They're just responses, which is one of the points of art, imo. I honestly hate taking apart performances intellectually right after I see them. I prefer to enjoy them for what they are and then pick it apart at a later time. Otherwise, I'd have no joy in any type of music. But that's just me.
Friday at 2:57am · Like
Austin Stevens I know that trying to analyze a work during the performance will distract me and lessen my enjoyment. It is just frustrating talking to people like Chris and Dean who notice every nuance.
Friday at 5:43pm via mobile · Like
Arreanna Rostosky That's because they're cyborgs. They're not real people. haha
Friday at 5:48pm · Unlike · 1
Austin Stevens A great thing about music is that you don't need a degree or any special knowledge in order to love it. But would you say that if one has good taste, that implies the ability to judge a performance as having merit or not? I feel like an educated listener needs to have certain standards, but when I listen to music the only thing I care about is whether the piece speaks to me.
Friday at 8:04pm via mobile · Like
Arreanna Rostosky But what is "good taste"? Is it based off of the canon? Who defines it? Once it is defined, I don't think it can be used to judge all performances: taste in opera will not be the same as taste in pop music, etc.
(I have a contentious relationship with ideas of "taste," as I study a genre that still irks some music scholars. And I also study musicals that even musicals scholars dislike! So my tastes are very broad. Rap is about the only thing I'll usually stop listening to.)
Also, what is the merit it is supposed to have? That it brings entertainment? That it brings one amusement? That it makes one think?
I don't think an educated listener has to have specific standards other than desiring a piece to speak to them in some way. Is that a popular conception of taste? Probably not. But I think feeling that one has to have certain aesthetics in order to judge a performance is a flawed compulsion, as the aesthetics one decides upon will automatically skew one's view of a piece. A Mozart opera lover will often dislike Wagner, a Wagner opera lover will often dislike Mozart (there are the few who love both! haha). Yet people agree that both composers have merit. So then what is the guide telling us the two composers are comparable in skill, despite being so drastically different in execution? It is taste to an extent, taste that has been codified. But there are plenty of scholars I know who may disregard Mozart and yet groove on Cage. I feel that the question you pose is much more complicated than just having "good taste."
Friday at 9:47pm · Like
Austin Stevens Well of course at the end of the day it's subjective. But what I mean by "good taste" is an appreciation of excellence. Regardless of whether I'm a Mozart lover or a Wagnerian, in any given performance there are certain expectations. Simple things like correct notes to choices of interpretation. It may be moving, but a Mozart opera performed like Wagner would probably be confusing. I don't think that it's strange to expect Mozart to sound like Mozart. Sure, coming into a performance with certain aesthetics changes one experiences the music, but how could we eliminate the bias?
Friday at 10:40pm via mobile · Like
Austin Stevens *how one experiences.
Friday at 10:41pm via mobile · Like
Arreanna Rostosky What is that excellence we should appreciate? It's still going to be different for different composers and genres, so I'm assuming you're seeking a taste that can acknowledge the different aesthetics of each genre and subgenre, which I would say is impossible to have. Correct notes won't apply to everything (John Cage, for one). And if choices of interpretation don't match your own aesthetic, you'll automatically view the performance as lesser, even though it may be an equally valid form of interpretation (early music performances comes to mind). There will always be a bias, sure. I'm not sure how it can be eliminated, except to have people learn to be aware that there is a bias and to not issue judgment based off of gut reaction at all times. I will often say that I may not like a type of music, but I can appreciate it. I don't think that's a question of good taste, merely being aware of one's musical preferences while being aware other equally valid preferences exist.
But I can't accept "good taste" to be an appreciation of excellence. There's a value judgment inherent in the term "good taste" (that there's such a thing as having bad taste and good taste) that makes me queasy. You're more than welcome to purse taste as a form of appreciation of excellence, but I tend to run away from defining things as such.
Why? Because the duality of "good" and "bad" taste brings in a moral component that rubs me the wrong way. Sure, there are things in obvious bad taste, such as calling for a new holocaust, supporting racism, practicing torture, etc. But in music, the baggage of calling taste good or bad is frustrating. It's what will shut people down in conversations about music. Too often there is a moral judgment of someone for liking or not liking a piece of music (like when I say I don't like Mahler, most people I talk to gasp in horror and then tell me I'll appreciate it when I'm older; I get a similar reaction of horror when I say I enjoy megamusicals like Phantom, something I wrote about for my ethics seminar). That automatic judgment is tiresome.
Am I calling for no debate about music? Obviously not. But this conversation is a reminiscent of the question of "what is literature?" that we had over the summer. My thoughts about that are similar to that about music and "tastes," if we must use such a word. There's a place for it all, imo. And a place for all kinds of appreciations, whatever it be about: excellence, entertainment, white noise, or whatever else.
Friday at 11:24pm · Like
Austin Stevens ideally, yes, good taste would acknowledge the different aesthetics of each genre. I'd agree that that is impossible, but it's not any less useful than any other concept of perfection. why would I automatically think that performances with unexpected aesthetics would be less worthy than what I was expecting? I think different but equal is totally possible, provided you keep an open mind.
but isn't there such a thing as having good or bad taste? granted, art isn't judged on a simple sliding scale from
Friday at 11:42pm · Like
Austin Stevens 'bad' to 'good' (pressed enter accidentally...)
Friday at 11:42pm · Like
Arreanna Rostosky The short answer to your question is: no. But that's how I choose to conceptualize it because of my experiences with being given a hard time for liking certain types of music. For other people, sure, good and bad taste exists.
Friday at 11:45pm · Like
Austin Stevens I agree that it's easy to become judgmental of others' taste when we think that there exists both good and bad taste. I don't think that judging a person for liking a certain type of music is right. Classical music elitists and snobs helped drive away younger generations of listeners. I do believe in open mindedness. before I came to Vandy, I thought Rap music was degenerate. but I was approaching it from a background in Western art music. music theory as we know it has little to do with Rap, and from that perspective it is indeed quite simplistic. It's simply not a harmonically progressive musical genre. and that's okay. the knowledge of this different set of aesthetics changed my approach to listening to rap, and I have a different (though I still don't listen to rap) view of it as a genre. each genre comes from a different background and has different expectations, and (informed) listeners come to each performance accepting the baggage that music has. so, I firmly do believe that there is such a thing as good music and bad music. It's more accurate to say that I believe there is good rap and bad rap, good classical music and bad classical music, etc. They each have their own standards. So wouldn't a person who likes bad music (according to the context of the particular genres) have bad taste?
Friday at 11:57pm · Like
Austin Stevens however, who's to ultimately judge what is good music and what's not? ultimately, you do. so it's subjective. but superficially there is a general consensus agreed upon by the majority of informed patrons that 'dictates' whether or not something is good or bad.
Yesterday at 12:00am · Like
Austin Stevens and yes, this is essentially the same discussion we had about literature. ; )
Yesterday at 12:01am · Like
Austin Stevens ok, FINE, there's not really any such thing as good or bad taste. that's just in comparison with a somewhat arbitrary cultural 'norm.' but I will still judge people who like Justin Bieber over, say, Frank Sinatra.
Yesterday at 12:03am · Like
Arreanna Rostosky Nice argument with yourself. haha ; )
The fact that you're judging people is imposing your own aesthetic on them, which is still a function of believing your aesthetic view is superior to theirs. Just as with the lit debate, what you view as fulfilling will not be what is fulfilling to someone else. And since it's subjective, why do you have to bring others into it? You don't have to and yet you feel a compulsion to do so. Some might argue (myself included) that in issuing judgment on others, it affirms one's own "good" taste in the hopes that it marks one as more cultured, a goal that I don't understand. I feel that one shouldn't seek out art or do things just to be "cultured"; seek out art that makes one feel good, inspired, moved. Not just "cultured."
Yesterday at 12:19am · Like
Austin Stevens why do I feel the need to bring others into it? because I enjoy discussion, and comparisons with my peers can also be enlightening, not just belittling one-up-manship. yes, of course some put others down in order to feel better about themselves. the real question here is whether or not Good (and by implication, Bad) exists.
the idea that everyone has their own scale (bias) is relativistic. and perhaps it's an unfair comparison, but I feel that the idea of universal truth is important. in terms of religion, this is when faith matters. in terms of art, the inability to 'prove' the existence of a true (objective) value isn't of much consequence. but what irks me isn't that other people have different likes and dislikes, but it's that I begin to think that each individual is trapped in his own little world; I dislike solipsism.
Yesterday at 12:34am · Like
Arreanna Rostosky I certainly understand your desire for discussion and mutual enlightenment!
I see what you're saying about universals and I respect your position. Morals and religion are definitely a different issue in terms of universals. I'm not as convinced that just because people have chosen to have certain likes and dislikes, it is indicative of them not being aware of others. That will be a byproduct in some cases, sure, but not always. They be aware of what is around them and decide it is not of value or use to them
In the end, I'm not going to condemn someone for not sharing the same likes as me or the same experience of faith (to tie it into religion). With religion, while I hold that there are certain truths, I also feel there are many ways to access God, through other religions and even through other pathways. Those ways may have different ways of expressing those truths, but it all evens out in the end. So I suppose I'm okay with relativism. In faith, in taste, and in life. (there are some ethical standards I'll hold, such as don't kill or eat people, torture isn't ethical, etc., but that's where a universal truth and an ethical standard are somewhat different things.)
You should really look into Kant and other philosophers dealing with universals, if that line of thought intrigues you.
Yesterday at 1:03am · Like
Austin Stevens I like what I know of Kant, but it is seriously the hardest thing to read. Worse than Adorno.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Things I need with money I don't have
This spring has really hit me hard financially. Mainly because I chose to pay for my own flights in February - March instead of having Tutu and Papa pay for them. I just didn't want them to have to pay for everything. And then I overdrew my account because I don't have a steady income. It's definitely been a learning experience, and I think I'm much more aware of the expense of things now that I can only make so many choices: an extra $10 in gas means I might not have enough money for lunch.
I tried to accept and submit my intent to enroll at CU this morning, but I don't have enough money for the $200 enrollment fee. Come May 1 I'll also need $200 for my health insurance. Plus I need to get my registration for my car, another $90.
I've been constantly low on gas this month, and that won't change anytime soon. My shoes have holes in them, and when I move I'll probably need a bed, a couch, and a table unless I pay higher rent for a furnished place. Plus I have to drive to Boulder. Hopefully I won't need a U-haul. I'll need a job just to pay the rent, and I haven't heard back from CU about financial aid because of a snafu in my paperwork. They didn't have my social on file, which is what connects to FAFSA. I'm just so grateful that Tutu and Papa will help me pay tuition.
Still, this will be the first time I've ever had to work a job while going to school. It will be really hard for me, but this is the biggest step towards becoming a responsible adult.
I tried to accept and submit my intent to enroll at CU this morning, but I don't have enough money for the $200 enrollment fee. Come May 1 I'll also need $200 for my health insurance. Plus I need to get my registration for my car, another $90.
I've been constantly low on gas this month, and that won't change anytime soon. My shoes have holes in them, and when I move I'll probably need a bed, a couch, and a table unless I pay higher rent for a furnished place. Plus I have to drive to Boulder. Hopefully I won't need a U-haul. I'll need a job just to pay the rent, and I haven't heard back from CU about financial aid because of a snafu in my paperwork. They didn't have my social on file, which is what connects to FAFSA. I'm just so grateful that Tutu and Papa will help me pay tuition.
Still, this will be the first time I've ever had to work a job while going to school. It will be really hard for me, but this is the biggest step towards becoming a responsible adult.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Vacation Journal, part 2
Would I prefer to live in Boulder or Vienna? It's a difficult question. Am I going to take advantage of Vienna enough to make it worth going to a foreign country? Will I be lonely on a separate continent from all of my friends?
Is Vienna special enough to outweigh all the wonderful things here in Boulder? Arguably a teacher who is Barbara's equal, practical classes, proximity to Nature, addictive food, Mary and Sarah to help with the transition, and it's much easier to fly home to see family and friends. The only downside is the expense. And, of course, the opportunity cost is so high. I have never been as inspired at concerts or museums before Vienna.
After doing laundry this morning I walked to King Sooper's (Kroger's) to buy ingredients for Chicken Parmesan. I put everything in Mary's slow cooker and it should be ready for dinner by 7.
Because I want to go hike a local trail, I took Kyoushou on a short walk around the neighborhood. It was more of a run, and I had to rest a bit. Twin Lakes are nearby, so I'll go hike around there until the sun starts to set. Unfortunately, I won't get to tour the Celestial Seasonings Tea Factory, as tours end at 4.
Twin Lakes was a pretty little trail. It was more of a park. The wind was so strong I decided to go back to Mary's. I just read an article on a news site saying 81 mph gusts of wind have been reported. Mary's apartment lost power, so we may have to order a pizza tonight. Because roads are closed, Mary can't get home. I'll have to find somewhere to get food.
Is Vienna special enough to outweigh all the wonderful things here in Boulder? Arguably a teacher who is Barbara's equal, practical classes, proximity to Nature, addictive food, Mary and Sarah to help with the transition, and it's much easier to fly home to see family and friends. The only downside is the expense. And, of course, the opportunity cost is so high. I have never been as inspired at concerts or museums before Vienna.
After doing laundry this morning I walked to King Sooper's (Kroger's) to buy ingredients for Chicken Parmesan. I put everything in Mary's slow cooker and it should be ready for dinner by 7.
Because I want to go hike a local trail, I took Kyoushou on a short walk around the neighborhood. It was more of a run, and I had to rest a bit. Twin Lakes are nearby, so I'll go hike around there until the sun starts to set. Unfortunately, I won't get to tour the Celestial Seasonings Tea Factory, as tours end at 4.
Twin Lakes was a pretty little trail. It was more of a park. The wind was so strong I decided to go back to Mary's. I just read an article on a news site saying 81 mph gusts of wind have been reported. Mary's apartment lost power, so we may have to order a pizza tonight. Because roads are closed, Mary can't get home. I'll have to find somewhere to get food.
Health and Sickness
This week I was horribly sick Monday - Wednesday. It was almost 60 hours of continual pain. There was nothing more desirable than sleep because it was my only escape. I only ate two cups of Jello, about a dozen saltine crackers, two glasses of ginger ale, and a few spoonfuls of soup. I couldn't stop burping and the pain of indigestion wasn't touched by the 12 Tums tablets I took. It was the most miserable time of my life.
It has been a rough spring for my health, and between my annual battle with allergies and this bout of some stomach virus I am much more conscious of how big a blessing your health is. "At least you have your health" actually means something to me now.
I know I'm not ambitious but I'm never happy if I don't work for long periods of time. I have not gotten nearly as much done as I had hoped to get done. I definitely don't want to bring my tv with me to Colorado. Working and going to school will be very intense, but I think that it's sink or swim time, and that I need to get my shit together.
It has been a rough spring for my health, and between my annual battle with allergies and this bout of some stomach virus I am much more conscious of how big a blessing your health is. "At least you have your health" actually means something to me now.
I know I'm not ambitious but I'm never happy if I don't work for long periods of time. I have not gotten nearly as much done as I had hoped to get done. I definitely don't want to bring my tv with me to Colorado. Working and going to school will be very intense, but I think that it's sink or swim time, and that I need to get my shit together.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Work
I had a long conversation with Martha tonight about work and my how I view money. Looking back over this year I wonder why I never just applied for a normal job. I had a decent amount of work with Dad over the summer and in the fall, but I didn't have a ton of savings when I flew to Boulder, California, and Phoenix in order to audition at my schools and see Tutu and Papa. They offered to pay for my flights but I felt bad asking them to pay when they will be paying for my graduate school tuition.
I do have some kind of pride where I want to be self-sufficient. I know how fortunate I've been and I am extremely grateful for the opportunities I've had thanks to my family - my grandparents in particular. I know my original plan was to audition for several local orchestras and sort of patch together enough work that way. It would have been great experience. However, I was lazy and only ended up taking one audition in Huntsville. So looking back, I can't believe I didn't just go out and start applying for jobs then and there. I took January off to practice and prepare for my auditions, and spent almost a month out west.
I'm frustrated because I try to live a simple life within my means. Had Dad been able to pay me on time, I would have had just enough money to cover my heath insurance, and I would have been spared massive overdraft fees. But what Martha made clear to me is that from their perspective, I haven't been doing very much work in order to help myself. And now I'm in a difficult place because, moving to Boulder before August, I will find it very hard to get a job for half the summer.
I hate disappointing Dad by not having had the foresight to know that I would need a steady income this year. I hate having to borrow money from anyone. I often think that I'm retarded in that I seem to be acting and experiencing life as if I were 3 or 4 years younger than I really am. Most of my friends already have places of their own and have had multiple jobs (though I went to summer music festivals instead). I know I'm not stupid, and no one would suggest that I am, I'm just... slow.
Being broke has been a wake up call. Just as getting to know my grandparents better changed my perspective on life and success. I just want to be happy. I keep finding out that there's more to a successful life than I once thought.
I do have some kind of pride where I want to be self-sufficient. I know how fortunate I've been and I am extremely grateful for the opportunities I've had thanks to my family - my grandparents in particular. I know my original plan was to audition for several local orchestras and sort of patch together enough work that way. It would have been great experience. However, I was lazy and only ended up taking one audition in Huntsville. So looking back, I can't believe I didn't just go out and start applying for jobs then and there. I took January off to practice and prepare for my auditions, and spent almost a month out west.
I'm frustrated because I try to live a simple life within my means. Had Dad been able to pay me on time, I would have had just enough money to cover my heath insurance, and I would have been spared massive overdraft fees. But what Martha made clear to me is that from their perspective, I haven't been doing very much work in order to help myself. And now I'm in a difficult place because, moving to Boulder before August, I will find it very hard to get a job for half the summer.
I hate disappointing Dad by not having had the foresight to know that I would need a steady income this year. I hate having to borrow money from anyone. I often think that I'm retarded in that I seem to be acting and experiencing life as if I were 3 or 4 years younger than I really am. Most of my friends already have places of their own and have had multiple jobs (though I went to summer music festivals instead). I know I'm not stupid, and no one would suggest that I am, I'm just... slow.
Being broke has been a wake up call. Just as getting to know my grandparents better changed my perspective on life and success. I just want to be happy. I keep finding out that there's more to a successful life than I once thought.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Vacation Journal, part 1
If there is a place on Earth that I would rather be more than Vienna, Austria, it is Boulder, Colorado. Ever since I attended Aspen Summer Music Festival, I have loved Colorado. And while I would love learning how to ski (if I could afford to) I am most drawn to the mountains in the summer.
The only downside is the expense of living here. There are so many fun things to do, yet I have so little money. Yesterday, I indulged myself at Boulder Bookstore, buying In Patagonia by Bruce Chatwin. It took me over 3 hours to decide between Chatwin and The Snow Leopard. I recognized Chatwin's name from Moleskine notebooks. His writing is wonderfully involving. It really is armchair travel. [I tried to emulate his style of writing during my journal entries]
Today, after assembling a bookshelf and table (IKEA) for Mary, she dropped me off at 29th street mall. I had a delicious lunch and enjoyed the cool air while wandering around the mall. The view of the mountains is stunning. With In Patagonia in my mind, I like to imagine looking at the mountains before civilization; pristine, like how Chatwin must have seen the Andes. I would love to travel to see all the major mountain ranges of the world. There is no landscape I would rather gaze upon than mountains.
The beauty of the mountains will always move me. I wish we could go hiking again but Mary has work during the day. As delicious as all the fresh food is here, living here would be expensive. I would learn how to cook, with the funny affects of the altitude.
The people are friendly, forward-looking, and intelligent. I have many friends here already, and I think I could make others. If I moved here, I would hike every warm weekend possible. There are trails everywhere, so close to the city. Vienna is not close to the Alps at all, unfortunately. Even the Wienerwald was over an hour away. What it offers is the living history of music and art.
While I have been to many of the best known museums already, (the notable exception being the Kunsthistorisches Museum. Professor C. Smith almost slapped me when I said I hadn't gotten around to seeing that museum) I would definitely go back and explore new ones as well. The world class music is my biggest draw. Instead of going hiking I would go to operas, concerts, and museums. I have never been to as many inspiring and excellent concerts as when I was in Vienna.
I missed the bus because I didn't know Spine Road was near Mary's apartment and was afraid of going the wrong direction. So I walked about 15 blocks down Pearl Street to find a place to eat dinner near the mall. The Lazy Dog Pub was just what I wanted. I found the 205 bus at the Boulder Transit Center, and asked Mary which stop I needed to get off at. I would have enjoyed the malls more if I had money to buy new clothes.
The only downside is the expense of living here. There are so many fun things to do, yet I have so little money. Yesterday, I indulged myself at Boulder Bookstore, buying In Patagonia by Bruce Chatwin. It took me over 3 hours to decide between Chatwin and The Snow Leopard. I recognized Chatwin's name from Moleskine notebooks. His writing is wonderfully involving. It really is armchair travel. [I tried to emulate his style of writing during my journal entries]
Today, after assembling a bookshelf and table (IKEA) for Mary, she dropped me off at 29th street mall. I had a delicious lunch and enjoyed the cool air while wandering around the mall. The view of the mountains is stunning. With In Patagonia in my mind, I like to imagine looking at the mountains before civilization; pristine, like how Chatwin must have seen the Andes. I would love to travel to see all the major mountain ranges of the world. There is no landscape I would rather gaze upon than mountains.
The beauty of the mountains will always move me. I wish we could go hiking again but Mary has work during the day. As delicious as all the fresh food is here, living here would be expensive. I would learn how to cook, with the funny affects of the altitude.
The people are friendly, forward-looking, and intelligent. I have many friends here already, and I think I could make others. If I moved here, I would hike every warm weekend possible. There are trails everywhere, so close to the city. Vienna is not close to the Alps at all, unfortunately. Even the Wienerwald was over an hour away. What it offers is the living history of music and art.
While I have been to many of the best known museums already, (the notable exception being the Kunsthistorisches Museum. Professor C. Smith almost slapped me when I said I hadn't gotten around to seeing that museum) I would definitely go back and explore new ones as well. The world class music is my biggest draw. Instead of going hiking I would go to operas, concerts, and museums. I have never been to as many inspiring and excellent concerts as when I was in Vienna.
I missed the bus because I didn't know Spine Road was near Mary's apartment and was afraid of going the wrong direction. So I walked about 15 blocks down Pearl Street to find a place to eat dinner near the mall. The Lazy Dog Pub was just what I wanted. I found the 205 bus at the Boulder Transit Center, and asked Mary which stop I needed to get off at. I would have enjoyed the malls more if I had money to buy new clothes.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
I Hate Allergies
I know I'm not sick by normal standards. I think the allergy medications are kicking in (finally) but unfortunately I already have a bad cough. I've been combating it with my puffer and cough syrups, which make life manageable, as long as I don't laugh too hard. Coughing fits aren't keeping me up at night like they have before, so I know it could be worse. I'm just not getting better. Of course, in the big picture I'm not dying, so I have nothing to complain about. It's enough for me to realize what a priceless gift good health is.
I also checked my bank account last night because I knew my health insurance was going to hit, but unfortunately it had already gone through and my next few transactions incurred fees. I was lucky enough to call the bank and get 2 of the overdraft charges removed, but I'm still not in the black. The reality that I have zero dollars has sunk in, and this is another step in learning how the world really works. I don't think I live a lavish life or don't understand the value of the dollar, but I hadn't given my finances any serious thought until today. I've always been sort of indifferent towards money. It's a means to an end, and I think I'm fortunate that it doesn't have a stranglehold over me. I think I'm a rather generous friend (at least in terms of gift giving) and I'm not stingy. I don't like to waste money and it often takes several trips to a store to talk myself into buying myself a new book or CD. It does bother me when I think that Mom buys more things than she can afford, like multiple dresses for Grace. But I do think that I have a certain lifestyle which includes a modest amount of expenses, and I've never really thought any more about spending money besides if I'm wasting it or not.
Talking to Dad helped better clarify the issue of being a responsible steward of my finances. He is far from a luxurious lifestyle, but he basically lives hand to mouth, and has practically no savings for retirement. Of course I'm practical enough to have a vague idea that 'I should start saving money,' but I have no plan. And without a plan, money will slip through my fingers. Martha can help me get back in the black until I earn some more money from Dad, but we're still unsure of how much work he will have this summer for me. I'm thinking that it would be smarter to find a steady job where I can form a schedule for this summer and a plan for my future. In the mean time I hope I don't cough up a lung.
I also checked my bank account last night because I knew my health insurance was going to hit, but unfortunately it had already gone through and my next few transactions incurred fees. I was lucky enough to call the bank and get 2 of the overdraft charges removed, but I'm still not in the black. The reality that I have zero dollars has sunk in, and this is another step in learning how the world really works. I don't think I live a lavish life or don't understand the value of the dollar, but I hadn't given my finances any serious thought until today. I've always been sort of indifferent towards money. It's a means to an end, and I think I'm fortunate that it doesn't have a stranglehold over me. I think I'm a rather generous friend (at least in terms of gift giving) and I'm not stingy. I don't like to waste money and it often takes several trips to a store to talk myself into buying myself a new book or CD. It does bother me when I think that Mom buys more things than she can afford, like multiple dresses for Grace. But I do think that I have a certain lifestyle which includes a modest amount of expenses, and I've never really thought any more about spending money besides if I'm wasting it or not.
Talking to Dad helped better clarify the issue of being a responsible steward of my finances. He is far from a luxurious lifestyle, but he basically lives hand to mouth, and has practically no savings for retirement. Of course I'm practical enough to have a vague idea that 'I should start saving money,' but I have no plan. And without a plan, money will slip through my fingers. Martha can help me get back in the black until I earn some more money from Dad, but we're still unsure of how much work he will have this summer for me. I'm thinking that it would be smarter to find a steady job where I can form a schedule for this summer and a plan for my future. In the mean time I hope I don't cough up a lung.
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