Following up on my last post, I think I realized what is actually happening: I have to wait for something. Not only do I have to truly earn something on my own, but I want something that I can only have if I wait and dutifully save money. It's not that I haven't paid for things. I've been increasing my level of responsibility slowly since college started. I have a job (even if it doesn't pay much) which covers my gas money and health insurance every month. I should be able to pay for my car insurance in a few weeks if I'm careful and get paid again by dad. However, once I pay mom back fully, I probably won't have much savings for the move. I need at least $300 just for gas to drive to Boulder.
Life is a series of accumulating responsibilities and working to keep a roof over your head and food on the table. Having calculated my expenses and formulated a budget, I worry that I'll never save enough money to do anything fun, like go back to Vienna. I wish I could say I was tough enough to put in 40 hour weeks for the next 30 years, but I really don't know if I have it in me. I don't want to join the rat race. I want to work hard at a fulfilling job and live a simple life so that I can travel occasionally. I want to own a house with a bit of land where I can grow some vegetables and have a few flowers, where I can hike and draw and have a dog and hopefully a family, and not be living paycheck to paycheck.
But from the look of things, there's always one more bill to pay or one more thing to buy. First, health insurance and car insurance. Then renting an apartment. Then getting a new computer. Then a new car. Then getting your own house. Then furnishing said house. Then getting a dog. Hopefully getting married sometime. If we have kids, I believe you should plan for $200,000 to raise them until they are 18. That doesn't include college. Plus, from now on I should start saving for emergencies and eventually retirement.
Living is more than paying bills and surviving. But work will always be a big part of life. And I think that's how it should be.
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