I leave for Boulder tomorrow. I can barely play my Paganini Caprice, and haven't seriously worked on Sibelius in a few weeks. I am very nervous about Boulder. I think my music will be a little more settled by the time I go to Phoenix. Having not even bothered with the end of Sibelius, I am extra worried I will not give a good impression at my lesson(s).
Regardless of how my auditions go, I am so excited to see all my friends. This trip is essentially a vacation with auditions in the middle. I wish I could have spent more time exploring Phoenix, but I couldn't stay with the Wilkison's so I had to book a hotel.
I know so many friends from around Boulder. I'm not sure where Sarah Davis will be moving once she gets married but I'll get to see her this trip. She's probably my oldest friend that I try to keep tabs on. EMF was so long ago.
It's scary to realize that I have no idea where I might be in 5 years, regardless of where I go to graduate school. These few auditions are so important in determining what I end up doing with the next 3 years of my life. And then my 20's are almost over.
On the one hand, I think of this period of my life as the most free. I could do anything, technically. I'm not tied down by anything and I don't have any debt. But on the other hand, life seems so linear. After these next few years of honing my craft, I'll go around taking auditions. Hopefully I'll find a job and can support myself. And who knows where (or when) that will be. I'll settle down, hopefully get married, start a family. I'll probably live hand to mouth, while trying to save, for the next few decades. No more exploring the world. No more visiting old friends.
Maybe I should have considered working in a more lucrative field.
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