2013

I'm not exactly sure why I have neglected to write in so long. I am feeling confused and lost and unsure of what I'm supposed to be doing with my life. It was a real struggle preparing for my first Master's recital, and I had to push it back from February to March. It went very well and for the first time I felt like it was more of a performance than just a student recital. I've definitely made some great progress during my first year at Boulder, but my program is halfway through and I'm not where I'd like to be, nor do I feel ready to attempt to move to the professional arena.

Lina has been a wonderful teacher and has supported me so much. My sleep study didn't turn up anything, which surprised me, and I need to keep searching for ways to focus and have more energy. I should look into counseling right now, actually, though I'm not sure if there are counselors on campus over the summer. I have been so unmotivated and apathetic it's depressing.

I'm so glad that Rachel and Robbie and I are staying together as a trio next year. We think we will play Schubert's second piano trio in Eb. I wish people could hang out this summer and play some chamber music. I acquired a large number of quartet parts from Paul Miller, who is going to Cornell. I'm happy for him, but I will miss him. His class was really great and I hope we stay in touch.

My new job at Beau Jo's Pizzeria has been going well so far. I really enjoy working there and everyone is nice and it's a very relaxed atmosphere. I should pick up more hours if possible, but it looks like I'll only be scheduled for about 20-25 hours a week. I probably won't make as much money as I need to, but hopefully I should have some savings by fall. I think both my computer and phone are on their last legs, so I am planning on replacing them when they finally fall apart.

In the attempt to escape reality and practicing, this year I've been obsessed with a few things. Since China I bought another old manual focus lens for my camera, as well as an old SLR camera, an Olympus OM-10. This brings me up to a total of 4 lenses, and I am itching to buy one last lens to round out my gear. I would like to get the Panasonic 20mm f1.7 pancake lens. It's small enough that my camera would fit more comfortably in a jacket pocket. It would have higher image quality and Autofocus, and wide open could take indoor pictures. It'd also be nice as a general walking around lens and for landscapes. Unfortunately, there's no way I'll be able to shell out $350 in the near future. I still want to go to Austria / Germany after I graduate so that's where my focus is, financially.

I also got into the prepper mindset which sort of intersects with an interest in camping. I've always wanted to be self-sufficient, and it is just common sense to plan for possible emergencies. I personally don't think a major economic collapse in the US and Europe is likely, but it's not out of the question. While it's good to have some extra supplies, I can't think of anywhere I could go in case of a major disaster. So I haven't thought about prepping as much, but I hope my dad can come visit and we might go camping.

Most recently I have been watching videos on YouTube obsessively. Besides discovering Epic Rap Battles of History, I have watched 5 Let's Plays in the past two weeks. Majora's Mask, Super Mario Sunshine (Versus), Super Mario 64 (Versus), Paper Mario, and Shadow of the Colossus. I also played Paper Mario on my computer. The emulator for N64 is still glitchy at times. It was an awesome game, though. I think it would be fun to record my own LPs. My best games are for the N64, though. There are many excellent NES and Super Nintendo games I want to play. It has been incredibly difficult for me to practice, and yesterday was the first time I touched my violin in two weeks. I practiced more today, but not nearly enough, and I know I can't distract myself by starting any more games.

There is a lot on my mind and I hope to sort things out this summer, so I should return to blogging more regularly.