Brief reflections

Today I had a lesson for the first time in about two weeks. The first movement of Sibelius was okay, but barely pulled itself together at the last minute. I'm still trying to figure out where the passion went. I felt some spark when I performed in Trey's recital. The exhilaration was mostly overshadowed by my feelings of disappointment and shame when I screwed up the sextuplets. But it was the most alive I've felt in a long time. There's just something incredible about performing.

Professor Teal had really good suggestions, although I know that if I had brought the Sibelius in in top shape, we could have really gotten into the music more. He complimented my technique and planning, but said it came off sounding more like an etude; very careful and precise but not musical. Even though I have played the piece for so long and know it well, since I'm bringing it back so slowly I'm in the stage of careful preparation again. I tend to tackle each piece I play focusing first on simply what I need to do to play the right notes in tune. Then I address the music. I need to change my approach to learning new music so that I incorporate my musical ideas into my practice strategies. It's like I've planned for a vacation and packed everything I think I'll need before deciding where I want to go.

Trey introduced me to Calypso Cafe today for lunch. It was very good, and I wish I had known about it before. We talked a bit about what we need to do for graduate auditions / applications and he told me about his plans for his senior thesis. I really should pick a piece of music and learn everything I can about it. I want to go back over my notes from my class on Mahler. I also need to organize my recordings from my semester abroad. I know I have at least a few lectures from Solvik's class (Mahler and turn of the century Vienna).

Maybe I'll sit down and analyze some Schubert. Winterreise, most likely, although his Octet is special to me as well. Reading about opera is very rewarding and interesting. Obviously having a narrative gives it a different dimension that is concrete and can be analyzed more definitively. Mozart's Mason principles come through in Die Zauberflöte (The Magic Flute), for example. That opera and Don Giovanni are my favorites. I have the full score to Don Giovanni, too. Or possibly if I thoroughly analyzed a Prokofiev piece, Trey might come around to liking his music more. Oh well, this is all just more talk until I do it.

I babysat for the rest of the day. My phone's battery is almost dead so I can't play Words With Friends right now. I'm really glad Lindsey and Lucy play, it's a lot of fun. I haven't done much besides work on the puzzle and listen to LOTR. For the rest of the night, until Martha comes back, I hope to write some worthwhile poetry.